Back in February, I did a bunch of research on single Christians, sex, purity, and the lack thereof. I planned to write about it, but ended up speaking on the topic at church instead. After speaking about it, I still wanted to write, but sort of chickened out. I felt that there was too much to write about for just one post, and I would probably need to do a series to cover everything that I wanted to say. I hadn’t blogged in close to a year, and really didn’t want to kick off my return to the blogging world with a series on sex. I was also kind of afraid that if I did, I might become known for the topic – like some kind of Christian sexpert or something – and I’m single, so how appropriate would that be? I know it’s silly; and I’m not concerned about any of that anymore. The truth is, I am single, and I can speak with authority on this topic because I have a past. I have made mistakes and I can draw from those to share what I have learned about the transforming power of the love of God. His love has changed me, purified me, and made me completely new. I will share some of my story in a later post. In this one, I’m just going to share what prompted me to research this topic in the first place.
It all began in the end of January with a conversation I had with an acquaintance – a girl in her early twenties who professes to be a Christian. We started talking about new year’s resolutions and she told me that her resolution was “to not have sex for three months.” She seemed proud of herself and said, “That’s pretty good, don’t you think?” I responded with blunt honesty and told her, “No I don’t think that’s good. It would be good if you were not having sex until you’re married.” She then proceeded to tell me that she’s young, so of course she’s going to be having sex – “everyone is doing it.” I told her that wasn’t true. “Everyone is not doing it. I’m not doing it, and my single friends are not doing it. We’re choosing to submit to God – and the Bible is very clear about sex being reserved for marriage.” She then asked, “Haven’t you ever made a mistake?” I said, “Yes, I have,” then asked if her question was meant to imply that sex before marriage was a mistake. She said, “Yes.” So I asked if she was still planning on having sex in three months when she was done with her break. Again, she said, “Yes.” Then I asked, “So you are planning on making a mistake in three months? Do you think that’s a good decision?” Silence. . . End of conversation. . .
In mid-February, I posted a link to an article on my Facebook timeline. It was an interview with a Christian guy, Matt Moore, who struggles with same sex attraction. I thought it was great. He spoke candidly about his struggles; and it was apparent that he valued his relationship with Christ more than his sexual desires. This is why I chose to share the interview on Facebook. As a result, a lengthy discussion ensued in the comments between a couple friends and myself – a discussion about the Bible, nature, identity, and love. They insisted that Matt “hates himself” and that he is “repressing his true nature” by choosing to abstain from homosexual relationships in order to follow his convictions and commitment to Jesus Christ. They also emphatically stated that the only way Matt will ever find “authentic love” is with another man. I asserted that Matt does not believe that his struggle is his identity, but instead he identifies as a Christian, as a child of God. Therefore, it is his nature to follow God and the guidelines revealed though the Bible. Doing so is an act of love, not only for God, but for himself as He lives out his beliefs and follows his convictions despite the pressures from many for him to do the opposite. We had a pretty good discussion; however, when it became apparent that my viewpoint would not be swayed, it turned a little bit ugly. It was suggested that I either must be struggling with my own sexual identity, or I am just sexually frustrated as “an older adult female” that is yet unmarried. Ridiculous? Yes, but not surprising considering who it came from – a homosexual man that professes to be a Christian.
These are two separate conversations that added to a growing frustration I’ve had with the blatant carnality in today’s Christian culture. There is a famine of truth in much of what calls itself the church. Messages that expose sin and call for holy living are unpopular and have become a rarity. The sanctuary has become seeker sensitive and has so diluted even the most basic principles of Christianity that they have become unrecognizable. All too often there is no distinction between the lifestyle of a Christian and that of an unbeliever besides a belief in God. As Christians, we are called to be different. We live in this world, but must not live by its principles. Our lives should reflect the character of God to such a degree that the world around us is impacted and changed. (See 1 Peter 2:11-12). We are called to set the standard. Instead, many Christians have been conforming to the world’s standards. I’m tired of hearing about professing Christians living with their boyfriends or girlfriends; and I’m tired of hearing about them getting pregnant and having babies before they get married. This is becoming more frequent, and it serves as a stark reminder of the idolatry that has pervaded the church. The worship of sex and self has replaced the worship of God. It is time to send these idols smashing to the ground!
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8)